Title: Just Follow the Bouncing Ball!
Here's to our Mother on her big shot birthday,
She doesn't look a day over 35,
Which is the least we could say.
She's definitely not happy about turning the big five-OH,
But slap on a smile Mom, 'cause it's time to start the show.
Just so you all know- our household has consisted of death threats-
Because Mom did NOT want a big party,
She'd prefer pizza in her sweats.
But here we are- a party has been thrown,
A party at the DeJulio house we certainly are atone.
We've got food, laughter, and all of the memories we could borrow,
So let's hope she has a good time so we can live to see tomorrow!
What would a good party be without a poem-
So without further adieu,
This is our Lori DeJulio throughout all this time that has flew.
I'll always see my mom with that big curly hair,
Our Mama that spent every day with us- and rarely had a moment to spare.
She also sported leggings and those thick scrunchy socks back then,
Of course, we had our own style too way back when.
It wasn't a day without matching dresses or PJs you must admit,
And frilly socks under fresh white sneakers were a must with every outfit.
Our very mannered behavior could be seen through all the places,
As our perfect round curls framed our perfect round faces.
And let's not forget to top it off with a bow,
We know how much you cared and that love you still show.
She would teach us many things- like counting and how to spell,
We would sing songs all day, and we would hardly ever yell.
How to dress warmly is also a typical mom thing to teach,
"Button up! You're going to catch a cold!" was a mom thing to preach.
I always hated my coat- but if I'd known I wouldn't have tried staying colder
Stay warm now kids, mom won't use the heat when you're older!
Politeness was another common lesson-
Though some cousins should have gotten a demo,
Apparently we'd spend days playing Beethoven and braiding hair-
Alyssa and Ashley must have missed the memo.
As we grew she turned from Mom to coach,
She volunteered with our cheerleading and took a slightly different approach,
All the parents would yell at her- and with shock they would just about collapse,
'Cause my mom was the only coach in Popwarner-
Who made girls do sit ups and run laps!
Nowadays the lessons can be all kinds of different things,
How to hold your liquor is one of her most common to spring.
But what really makes our friends blush-
Is when she comes out with toilet paper & explains to them how to poop & flush.
If you're having trouble getting your kids out of bed-
Go to Lori for advice,
Forget the yelling and alarm clocks,
According to her...a squirt bottle will suffice.
If you want to tell her a story-
For the love of God just "follow the bouncing ball!"
She doesn't have time for details that are just way too small.
And don't you dare call her unless you have 3 important things to say,
Who do you think she is? She doesn't have all day!
How to really describe our Mom..hmm..have you ever seen The Devil Wears Prada?
Miranda Priestly is who we're thinking of-
And don't piss her off with zip, zilch, or nada.
All you guys laugh 'cause when she comes home- you know what we do,
We scramble getting the house in order-
"Gird your loins" all of you!
Now the purple couch, do not disturb, that is Lori relaxation zone,
You'll get a this (hand), this (hand), or that (hand) especially if she's on the phone.
Don't mess up the fridge, and don't leave dirty bowls in any space,
Every place has a thing and every thing must be in place.
It's always an early sleep for her- but there was a time when she'd get out of bed,
Proud mother moments: "Please pick us up!" we would have pled-
She'd come pick everyone up when they were too drunk to lift their head,
She'd look you up and down- "Good god!" she would have said.
Friends who needed rides would come out tripping over rocks and rubble,
Of course... this instance is for Jessie....I never got in trouble!
So with heat she might be scarce- but with the warmth in her heart she is not,
She can give you great advice- or put you in your place right on the spot.
You truly are one of a kind that not even a long poem can describe,
We're the young women you see here today and it is she that can ascribe.
Though over time some titles have changed,
Especially depending on your moods that have ranged,
You've been coach, friend, and Miranda Priestly but you always remain 'Mom'-
You're always there to guide us through- and always there to keep us calm.
So here's to our Mom, our Mommy, and our very best friend,
You've given us a great life- and we have a lot more time to spend.
We have a wonderful future ahead- though it is fun to remember when,
If we could then we'd go back with you,
Just to live it all again!